Saturday, November 27, 2010

I’m a Two-Headed, Green, Baby Dragon…

I LOVE being a mom. I love watching my kids discover new things they can do, I love seeing them develop their definition of self, I love watching my girls treat each other as best friends, I love seeing them face challenges and conquer them…there are so many, many things about being their mom that brings me absolute JOY. And then there are those days when a sister, husband or friend will call me and I find myself prolonging the conversation as long as possible, clinging to the receiver as if it is a lifeline to a more sane, grown-up world.

There are some slight occupational hazards to being a mother of 3 young children:

1) You’ve referred to an item so long as a shape, color or adjective that you forget the proper names of things. For example – “Go get the blue (bottle) and bring it here.” or “See the soft (stuffed toy)? Please go pick it up and put it away.” or “Take your pinks (shoes) off and put them on the square (rug).” Now that some of my kids are older I find myself staring at the object unable to recall it’s proper name so my children are filling in the blanks for me…so, so sad…

2) You start to personify inanimate objects as a by-product of being around your children’s active imaginations. Example – the washer kept giving me difficulties so I unwittingly told Don, “I keep telling her she better shape up or she’s out on the curb, but she doesn’t listen – maybe if I give her a break she’ll come around…” This one definitely made Don question my sanity and shortly after he practically shoved me out the door to go to a movie with my friend Crystal while mumbling something about spending time with an adult… 

3) Your ability to converse on in-depth topics drop a bit if you don’t take steps to counter it… (For example - enter don, fresh from the high-speed attorney world: “Rachel, you wouldn’t believe what happened in court today – the opposing side made a prima facie case for an injunction, but all of their evidence came from a Rule 404 conference so it’s under review by the judge – we will be able to throw the presumption back on them given that the evidence is compelling – it’s as they say: “Ipsa loquitor” – you know – the thing speaks for itself – we’re going to win – not only will we win but there’s a good chance they’ll get Rule 11 sanctions . . . . so how was your day?”  Rachel, hair in a messy-bun, clothes still smudged with yogurt from her 18 month old replies, “It was good, playing  pet shop with Bizzie was fun, helping Autumn learn long division is hard, and Liberty is still struggling with mastering a spoon…”)

DisneyPhotoImage75 This is my 5 year old, Bizzie, she is so sweet, and unimposing – yet she has an incredibly, active imagination – but, I have found for whatever she is pretending to seem absolutely real to her she needs me to understand what she is pretending to be. Therefore, it is not uncommon for her to come up to me and say one of the following:

 

 

unicorn1 “Mom I’m a white unicorn, I’m this big (hands stretched as  wide as she can get them), I sparkle and I’m a girl!” What follows is me confirming, “Wow! You are a white unicorn, that is this big, you sparkle and you’re a girl! You are so beautiful!” She then preens satisfied and gallops off.

imagesCAZCK0OH Or, “Mom I’m a tiger – rarrr! I have orange strips and these are my paws (she holds her hands up with her fingers closed in)!” I then dutifully repeat her description in astonishment that a tiger is loose in my home.

imagesCAREBPWL “Mom I’m Peter Rabbit, this is my tail, this is my blue coat, and I like to hop everywhere.” I again confirm and act astonished.

 

 

 

 

hanna-with-wolves “Mom I’m an Indian, this is my long black hair (pointing to her short brown hair) and I have dark skin don’t I?” I confirm.

 

 

 

 

horse-La-Comb-Shemal[1] “Neighhhh! Mom I’m a brown horse! Look at me run!”

 

 

 

 

 

I have gotten use to her many shapes and imaginings and thought I knew how to make her happy and content in “Bizzieland.” Then one day something was…off, for her. She had fallen in love with the idea of being a dragon after watching “How To Train Your Dragon,” but not just any dragon - “A Two headed, green, baby dragon that was this big (her hand clenched in a fist).”  httyd_slice_hideouszippleback

She began her day of imagining as she normally did, announcing what she was and me confirming that yes indeed she had morphed into a two-headed, green, baby dragon that was this big (clenching my fist). She smiled and slouched off with a growl, but then 5 minutes later she came back and said the same thing…maybe she was having difficulty solidifying her new self in her head…so I confirmed again that, yes, she was still a green dragon, concerned she said, “No, Mom! I’m a TWO-headed, green, BABY dragon that is THIS  big.” Corrected I repeated the appropriate description. Two hours later my sister called and clinging to the receiver I gasped in adult conversation because every 10 minutes for those two hours I had patiently confirmed the two-headedness of 5 year old dragon at her request! Then 2 hours after that Don called and I found myself clinging to the receiver once again for the same reason. It was a couple days before her obsession wore off… I had to laugh after the craziness subsided and wish for the day that being appropriately recognized as a two-headed, green, baby dragon was my biggest concern…

Again, I LOVE being a mom, crazy side affects, and psychotic-ish ramblings included…They grow too soon and I know I will be wishing back the days when my babies needed me to confirm every 10 minutes for 3 days that they were two-headed, green baby dragons that are this big…

Friday, November 19, 2010

Cold, Cold, Cold….

We took the girls up the rocky road on the West Mountain behind Don’s family home. We love to go up there from time to time and look at the valley spread around us in a perfect 360. It is hard to remember that winter is coming around the corner – especially after enjoying an Indian Summer, even though we cam prepared with jackets if you look closely at our faces we are absolutely freezing and muttering at Don to HURRY and take the picture (and he took sooo many)!! I am ashamed to say that when Don went to look at the beautiful scenery it was I who pointed out to the girls that if they stood close enough to the truck engine they could warm up off of the heat it was radiating, so when Don asked us to join him, all four of us needed to be coaxed away from nasty exhaust of the engine for the gorgeous scenery around us…I’m not proud of myself, but there it is.

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Monday, November 15, 2010

Spooky Halloween Traditions

This year the girls were feline minded in their selection of costumes.  Autumn had found a leopard costume she loved, Bizzie HAD to be a tiger, and Don found the cutest lion costume for Liberty.

The girls were sad there wasn’t going to be a trunk-or-treat this year at the church but they began to understand why as they started getting into their costumes with the sound of thunder and hail  pounding outside!  But they were so excited when they found out the Wolfe’s were going to come with us around the ward to do our trick-or-treating under umbrellas. With the costumes on, face paint applied, and plastic jack-o-lantern buckets in hand we were ready for Halloween!!! Everyone donned their trusty boots and off we went.

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We had gone to about 7 homes when Don and Clint received a phone call from the Bishop asking them to meet him for a ward emergency so Crystal and I loaded the kids up into the van and kept on trick-or-treating. When we felt the kids had, had enough we took them by grandparents to show them off, we stopped at the Raymer’s where they received their candy and a gazillion hugs from teenagers and grandparents, then we were off to the Olsen’s for Grandma’s traditional reading of “Little Orphan Annie” (it’s a wonderful, scary poem from the era of scaring your children into behaving well - I’ve included it at the very bottom of this post if you are curious…).

As Grandma was reading from her old poetry book an old envelope kept slipping out, when she got done scaring the kids she finally took it out and looked at it bewildered, then handed it over to me to see if I could make anything of it. It was an aged envelope with  the words Open on All Hallow’sEve 2010 scrolled across it and on the flap it was sealed with red wax. I looked at Crystal and the kids, opened it and found the following written inside with ancient map of the old Olsen homestead:

The Legend of Jack the Lantern

Twas All Hallow’s Eve in 1910

A dark night remembered long by men.

For an unspeakable thing had been done

The dark forces of night had by wicked curse stopped the Sun

There would be no morning light

Just endless darkness and endless night.

Ghosts, witches and goblins marched throughout the streets

Skeletons climbed fences and upon rooftops leaped.

But a man named Jack knew what to do –

And from house to house he quickly flew.

“Carved faces in your pumpkins put

Light them, and place them at each door’s foot.

The light will push the darkness back”

And on into the night went brave Jack.

Til’ every house porch was, with pumpkins lit

And stemmed the creature tide from the pit.

But still there was not enough light to break the spell –

There would be no morning ray to send darkness back down the well.

So Jack turned himself into a pumpkin that night.

And with his human soul set it alight.

The rays cut through inky dark.

And broke the curse with his soul’s spark.

And so the sun’s rays over the mountains crept –

And in their beds children safely slept.

The creatures of night to their underhome fled.

And there stood Jack with a pumpkin head.

More scarecrow than man he appears –

With light enough for a hundred years.

But when his fire dims and dies –

The sun will once again refuse to rise.

So reader know this and be warned –

Jack, must with fire again be adorned.

Light the fire again and keep at bay

The darkness that would forever stay.

Then fly to safety by pumpkin light

To the wall of trees and be held tight.

No harm can to you there be done –

And await the rising of the sun.

The kids looked up at Crystal and I nervously, and Autumn said, “Mom what does that mean?”  I told her, “It looks like we have to go find Jack and light him up again or the sun won’t rise tomorrow…Grandma isn’t this a map of the old farm?” Grandma responded, “The old chicken coop isn’t there anymore but everything else lines up…”

Crystal and I looked at the kids with concern and asked them what they thought we should do…the older kids put on brave faces and said that we had to go find Jack. The littler kids (Isaac and Bizzie) were shaking their heads “no” we shouldn’t go. I re-read the poem carefully and pointed out that it promised if we held lights through pumpkins we would be safe from the ghost and the goblins as we searched for Jack, I told them if they wanted to go we had the plastic jack-o-lanterns that the kids candy could be dumped out of and we could put flashlights in to create our protective pumpkin light with… 

The kids were nervously willing so we made all our preparations, including bringing a propane torch to light Jack if we found him and headed out into the dark, cold pasture holding hands.  The rain had passed and the moon and stars were peeking through the low hanging clouds adding to the Halloween atmosphere.  

Royalty-Free (RF) Clipart Illustration of a Group Of Silhouetted Trick Or Treaters In Halloween Costumes, Walking Under Bats Between Bare Trees At Night

The old map that we’d found with the Legend of Jack the Lantern took us out to the lower pasture and down an old lane, and as we approached the gate to the lane we could hear something and there in the distance . . . .were glowing red eyes… dark hulks lumbered in closer and closer to us!  We were being stalked by goblins!  Not 30 feet away red goblin eyes were following us on either side of the lane! I yelled for the kids to hold their pumpkin lights up higher, which they did immediately while yelling at them to “Go Away!! We aren’t afraid of you!!” All the while gripping each other’s hands tightly and clinging close to whoever was next to them.  

redeyes

We were hemmed into the old farm lane with tall weeds on either side.  Somewhere on the other side was the sound of approaching goblins and occasionally we caught a glimpse at their eyes peering at us through the weeds.  After several intense minutes we found him -  we found Jack!  He was right where the map said he would be.   He was a scarecrow with a jack-o-lantern head and inside his head was a giant wick to light – as we approached Jack to light him the goblins became enraged. I quickly pulled out the torch and lit the wick and immediately a powerfully bright light lit the pasture around us making the red eyes retreat.  The spell was broken! (We hoped…)

Scarecrow_by_Radojavor

We had had enough and  quickly retreated back to the grove of trees that surrounded the Olsen home! We kept our lanterns high because the goblins seemed incredibly mad, as we made our way into the grove and began to relax when we looked back and saw Jack brightly lit in the distance.

When we got inside the house the kids were exhausted but absolutely proud of themselves!! It was the scariest thing ever, but they had saved the world!!! The kids wanted to tell Grandma Olsen every detail when we got a call from Clint and Don telling us they were at the house and wondering if we were done yet? I told them we had A LOT to tell them and we were on our way! When we reached our house the kids ran inside and began telling Clint and Don (over hot chocolate that was waiting for them) everything that happened, showing them the map and letter, and showing them how they held their jack-o-lanterns to protect themselves from REAL goblins! Clint and Don were so bummed they had missed the chance to help save the world but were so glad we had the courage to do so and lived tot tell the tale!

So that’s how Halloween happened for the kids…Here is Halloween happened for the grown-ups…Early on Halloween Don and I sat across from our good friend Crystal and tried to decide how we would make Halloween fun for our kids this year (the traditional trunk-or-treat at the church had been canceled due to coming rain storms) and as we mulled around some ideas I saw a grin spread on Don’s face and a part of me knew to brace myself for a very involved idea…He said, “What if we take them trick-or-treating around our neighborhood and then suddenly Clint (Crystal’s husband) and I get called away for an emergency and you two can continue to take the kids trick-or-treating and then end up down at my parents where Grandma Olsen can give her traditional reading of “Little Orphan Annie” to all the kids, but this time as she finishes, we will arrange for an old slip of paper to fall out of the book with a map. The slip of paper will tell the story of how a 100 years ago a jack-a-lantern was lit on this land to keep the goblins from roaming freely and how now the hundred years of protection would be up tonight unless someone found the jack-o-lantern, which Clint and I will have set up, and light it or the goblins, again, Clint and I will be down in the pasture with spooky lights pretending to be goblins, would be free to roam once again!” I’m use to Don coming up with spur of the moment crazy, yet incredibly fun, ideas last minute so it was kind of fun to watch Crystal try to get her head around if we were serious or not!

Amazingly, Crystal and Clint were game and so in a matter of minutes my way-too-talented husband sat down and created an impressive poem called “The Legend of Jack the Lantern.” To make the poem a reality a flurry of secretive, activity ensued: Don gathered up the materials to be a goblin and put together a scarecrow complete with a jack-o-lantern head, while I aged paper with tea for “The Legend of Jack the Lantern” and the map Don would draw to show us how to find the ancient “Jack.” It was then time to get the kids into their costumes and ready for trick-or-treating and while I was painting the girls faces I received the following email from Don:

Here’s how it goes down . . .

· Wolfe’s and Olsen’s meet at the Olsen house                                             · Rachel paints faces                                                                                             · While Rachel is doing that Don takes Clint and Crystal downstairs and explains the story.                                                                                        · Whole group goes trick-or-treating to some homes in the ward      · Clint gets a call from the Bishop saying he needs help with something (it’s really Don – bru-ha-ha-ha-ha!)                                        · Don and Clint are dropped off at the house.  They load everything up in the truck and take off for the farm.                                                                                                                             · Crystal and Rachel continue on with some trick or treat – at least another half hour.                                                                                                 · Clint and Don arrive at the farm – they assess how rainy and muddy it is and pick the spot for Jack and set him up – and they plant the map in the goblin book.                                                                   · Crystal and Rachel text Clint and Don when they are departing Springville.                                                                                                               · Crystal and Rachel arrive at the farm.  Clint and Don send a text or there is a private phone call explaining where to go to find Jack.                                                                                                                            · They do the whole trick or treat thing – visit – then have Grandma read GOBLINS – when she finishes it the sealed map drops out . . . .                                                                                                         · Startled Crystal and Rachel examine the map and one of them reads it.                                                                                                                      · Kathleen comments that she recognizes the story and the map – and that where their house is use to be a chicken coop – the starting place on the map.                                                                                  · Crystal and Rachel resolve that someone needs to relight Jacks fire. (no jokes please)                                                                                           · Crystal and Rachel and company take off to find Jack – they take the blow torch with them which Clint and Don have left on top of the water heater.                                                                                                    · As they go they hear strange things in the distance and see glowing red eyes.                                                                                                  

There are some rules:                                                                                   1. Only “PUMPKIN LIGHT” will protect them – glow in the dark things should be in the pumpkins – goblins cannot get the kids so long as they have a lit pumpkin.                                                                      2. Kids should have their little lights to help them see where to step                                                                                                                               3. Only grownups have big lights but they keep them pointed down – no long distance shining.  

· Crystal and Rachel are studying the map and BSing their way to Jack.                                                                                                                             · Crystal and Rachel arrive at Jack and use the blow torch to light the sparklers within.                                                                                             · The group then quickly (but not running) begin to make their way back to the “wall of trees”  - Olsen’s yard.                                           · They are followed and ultimately chased by sinister and dark creatures.                                                                                                                  · As they look back they can see Jack shining bright – the spell is being broken.                                                                                                          · They arrive at the wall of trees and are safe.                                           · Clint and Don slip away in the truck and back to the Don and Rachel’s house where they wait for a report from the group.              · Crystal and Rachel arrive back at Don and Rachel’s house and the kids report.  

The Wolfe’s arrived and while I entertained the kids with Halloween music Don took crystal and Clint downstairs to explain the whole plan. Everything else went on from there as you read above. I was SO proud of my girls and the Wolfe boys! Not many kids get the opportunity to test their courage, they were absolutely terrified but still mustered up the courage to start, continue and carryout the entire mission!  They had shown their metal.

Don and I are either horrible parents or great parents, the debate comes up every Halloween when we decide how and if we are going to spook our kids that year. This year wasn’t much different…

(Grandma Olsen’s Traditional Halloween Poem):

The Goblins Will Get You, If You Don’t Watch Out . . .

Little Orphan Annie's come to my house to stay.
To wash the cups and saucers up and brush the crumbs away.
To shoo the chickens from the porch and dust the hearth and sweep,
and make the fire and bake the bread to earn her board and keep.
While all us other children, when the supper things is done,
we sit around the kitchen fire and has the mostest fun,
a listening to the witch tales that Annie tells about
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!

Once there was a little boy who wouldn't say his prayers,
and when he went to bed at night away up stairs,
his mammy heard him holler and his daddy heard him bawl,
and when they turned the covers down,
he wasn't there at all!
They searched him in the attic room
and cubby hole and press
and even up the chimney flu and every wheres, I guess,
but all they ever found of him was just his pants and round-abouts
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

Once there was a little girl who always laughed and grinned
and made fun of everyone, of all her blood and kin,
and once when there was company and old folks was there,
she mocked them and she shocked them and said, she didn't care.
And just as she turned on her heels and to go and run and hide,
there was two great big black things a standing by her side.
They snatched her through the ceiling fore she knew what shes about,
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

When the night is dark and scary,
and the moon is full and creatures are a flying and the wind goes Whoooooooooo,
you better mind your parents and your teachers fond and dear,
and cherish them that loves ya, and dry the orphans tears
and help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about,
or the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Liberty Discovers Magic Tricks

Don was away for Bishopric meetings when Liberty came to me with her hand tucked away in her sleeve looking concerned when her facial expression turned sly and she popped her hand out yelling, "Ta-Da!!!" I haven't laughed that hard in awhile! I kept her going in hopes she would do do it for Don when he got back from her meeting but 16 times was a lot for her...and me and she moved on to other things. When Don finally got home she was getting tired and ready for bed but I got her to try again and she did it! So here are two videos of Liberty's Awesome Disappearing Hands Magic Trick: