I’m a Two-Headed, Green, Baby Dragon…

I LOVE being a mom. I love watching my kids discover new things they can do, I love seeing them develop their definition of self, I love watching my girls treat each other as best friends, I love seeing them face challenges and conquer them…there are so many, many things about being their mom that brings me absolute JOY. And then there are those days when a sister, husband or friend will call me and I find myself prolonging the conversation as long as possible, clinging to the receiver as if it is a lifeline to a more sane, grown-up world.

There are some slight occupational hazards to being a mother of 3 young children:

1) You’ve referred to an item so long as a shape, color or adjective that you forget the proper names of things. For example – “Go get the blue (bottle) and bring it here.” or “See the soft (stuffed toy)? Please go pick it up and put it away.” or “Take your pinks (shoes) off and put them on the square (rug).” Now that some of my kids are older I find myself staring at the object unable to recall it’s proper name so my children are filling in the blanks for me…so, so sad…

2) You start to personify inanimate objects as a by-product of being around your children’s active imaginations. Example – the washer kept giving me difficulties so I unwittingly told Don, “I keep telling her she better shape up or she’s out on the curb, but she doesn’t listen – maybe if I give her a break she’ll come around…” This one definitely made Don question my sanity and shortly after he practically shoved me out the door to go to a movie with my friend Crystal while mumbling something about spending time with an adult… 

3) Your ability to converse on in-depth topics drop a bit if you don’t take steps to counter it… (For example - enter don, fresh from the high-speed attorney world: “Rachel, you wouldn’t believe what happened in court today – the opposing side made a prima facie case for an injunction, but all of their evidence came from a Rule 404 conference so it’s under review by the judge – we will be able to throw the presumption back on them given that the evidence is compelling – it’s as they say: “Ipsa loquitor” – you know – the thing speaks for itself – we’re going to win – not only will we win but there’s a good chance they’ll get Rule 11 sanctions . . . . so how was your day?”  Rachel, hair in a messy-bun, clothes still smudged with yogurt from her 18 month old replies, “It was good, playing  pet shop with Bizzie was fun, helping Autumn learn long division is hard, and Liberty is still struggling with mastering a spoon…”)

This is my 5 year old, Bizzie, she is so sweet, and unimposing – yet she has an incredibly, active imagination – but, I have found for whatever she is pretending to seem absolutely real to her she needs me to understand what she is pretending to be. Therefore, it is not uncommon for her to come up to me and say one of the following:

 

 

“Mom I’m a white unicorn, I’m this big (hands stretched as  wide as she can get them), I sparkle and I’m a girl!” What follows is me confirming, “Wow! You are a white unicorn, that is this big, you sparkle and you’re a girl! You are so beautiful!” She then preens satisfied and gallops off.

Or, “Mom I’m a tiger – rarrr! I have orange strips and these are my paws (she holds her hands up with her fingers closed in)!” I then dutifully repeat her description in astonishment that a tiger is loose in my home.

“Mom I’m Peter Rabbit, this is my tail, this is my blue coat, and I like to hop everywhere.” I again confirm and act astonished.

 

 

 

 

“Mom I’m an Indian, this is my long black hair (pointing to her short brown hair) and I have dark skin don’t I?” I confirm.

 

 

 

 

“Neighhhh! Mom I’m a brown horse! Look at me run!”

 

 

 

 

 

I have gotten use to her many shapes and imaginings and thought I knew how to make her happy and content in “Bizzieland.” Then one day something was…off, for her. She had fallen in love with the idea of being a dragon after watching “How To Train Your Dragon,” but not just any dragon - “A Two headed, green, baby dragon that was this big (her hand clenched in a fist).” 

She began her day of imagining as she normally did, announcing what she was and me confirming that yes indeed she had morphed into a two-headed, green, baby dragon that was this big (clenching my fist). She smiled and slouched off with a growl, but then 5 minutes later she came back and said the same thing…maybe she was having difficulty solidifying her new self in her head…so I confirmed again that, yes, she was still a green dragon, concerned she said, “No, Mom! I’m a TWO-headed, green, BABY dragon that is THIS  big.” Corrected I repeated the appropriate description. Two hours later my sister called and clinging to the receiver I gasped in adult conversation because every 10 minutes for those two hours I had patiently confirmed the two-headedness of 5 year old dragon at her request! Then 2 hours after that Don called and I found myself clinging to the receiver once again for the same reason. It was a couple days before her obsession wore off… I had to laugh after the craziness subsided and wish for the day that being appropriately recognized as a two-headed, green, baby dragon was my biggest concern…

Again, I LOVE being a mom, crazy side affects, and psychotic-ish ramblings included…They grow too soon and I know I will be wishing back the days when my babies needed me to confirm every 10 minutes for 3 days that they were two-headed, green baby dragons that are this big…